Our Story

The Extended Version

- Rebekah the Oregonian -

Rebekah was born in Southern Oregon, but grew up mostly in the San Francisco Bay Area, and then back to Oregon during her high school years.  She is the fourth of five siblings.  Her early childhood was marked by both family love and family turmoil, the instability of moving often yet stable in faith.  Her dad struggled with addiction and mental illness.  When she was 12 years old, her dad died from cirrhosis of the liver.  Her dad's death had a deep impact on Rebekah.  She loved her dad and missed him often. 

Yet through all this, Rebekah, her mom, siblings, and extended family remained a tight troop.  While they had little earthly riches, they were rich in love and support.  Family and faith were the hallmarks of her life, and these early experiences also helped shape her heart into the woman she is today.

Always a good student, Rebekah dreamt of going to college to become an oncology nurse to help people with cancer.  Toward the end of her senior year of high school, she got accepted at Biola University and was excited about starting her studies to become a nurse. 

Joel the Californian

Joel grew up in Orange County, California.  He and his younger sister had the fortune of a simple yet stable home.  He loved remote control cars, skateboarding, surfing, and riding BMX bikes.  But his real passion, from 7^th to 11^th grades was racing motocross. 

While a junior in high school, he crashed during a practice and broke his femur and wrist.  Since he could not race for an entire year, he got into partying and drinking.  He and his friends also became angry, racist, violent skin heads during his senior year of high school.  This lifestyle led to Joel getting in some serious trouble.  He ended up getting framed for a crime he did not commit, but he still got charged with two felonies (one was a hate crime) and two misdemeanors.  His parents hired an attorney and a plea deal was struck.  He had to do about a million hours of community service.

A year later, Joel (19 years old) came face-to-face with someone cooler and tougher than he was: Jesus.  His world was turned upside down and he had nothing short of a worldview revolution.  While he barely passed high school, Jesus helped turn his brain on and he spent the next 10-years working through four different colleges to obtain multiple degrees.  He went to seminary and even pastored at a couple churches.  Joel got married to a young single mom and he adopted her daughter.  They had a son together as well.  The future seemed to hold only bright promises. 

Rebekah’s Brokenness

Rebekah did some travelling around the world before starting her college studies.  For a while she lived in an orphanage in Mexico and helped disabled kids.  She later served as an au pair for a family in Germany and then for another family in Ireland.  After returning home, around age 21, she worked several odd jobs.  At the age of 23, she was shockingly diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer.  Her world stopped.  All her plans got put on hold.  Her oncologist said that she was the youngest patient their office had ever seen with breast cancer.  She made the difficult decision to have a double mastectomy.  She did seven months of chemotherapy and then three years of a hormone therapy maintenance drug.  The entire ordeal was traumatic, and she suffered for a time with PTSD.  But she never waivered in faith in God’s love for her and her faith even grew. 

Joel’s Brokenness

Interestingly, during the same time that Rebekah was going through her journey with cancer, the seams of Joel’s marriage were coming apart.  After multiple attempts to keep it together, the marriage ended in divorce.  Joel was a crushed and shattered man.  Apart from his kids, he had lost everything—house, job, possessions, reputation, and—hope.  Joel, then 32, struggled with alcohol, with depression, with faith, and with direction. 

Rebekah’s Rebuilding

While Rebekah went through chemo, she met an older Christian lady named Sean.  Sean had stage 4 breast cancer and was receiving chemotherapy also.  The two became close friends.  Sean was a shinning example of joy, grace, and love while suffering and fighting to live. 

After Rebekah, finished chemo, the two went out to lunch to celebrate.  Rebekah asked Sean, “What now?  What do I do if it comes back?”  Sean said, “Now, you live.  If it comes back, you fight.  You fight, and you live.  But now, you need to get back out there and live your life.”  It was that advice that encouraged Rebekah to get back out into the adventure of life. 

At 25, Rebekah had been deemed cancer free for nearly three years.  Inspired by Sean’s example and advice, she packed her little car and drove south to Southern California where her younger sister, Liz, was living with her husband and kids.  Her goal was to start a new life and what better place than the beach of Southern California?

Joel’s Rebuilding

After his divorce, Joel vowed that he would not even consider dating for at least a year.  Well, a year turned into three years.  He required a lot more work than he had thought!  He got involved again with church, support groups, and a therapist.  He got a new job making decent money.  Joel struggled with his faith, but he never lost it.  The more he trusted the Lord, the more the pieces of his life began to come back together, but this time renewed and with greater perspective. 

Joel joined an online Meetup group for Christian singles.  He noticed that there was another girl who joined the group the same day he did.  She looked cute.  He sent her a short email and asked if she wanted to talk.  To his surprise, she replied. 

Rebekah’s Reply

The day that Joel sent that email, Rebekah was home alone in her little studio apartment.  She felt terribly homesick and felt like maybe she had made a mistake coming to California.  She was on the verge of packing up and driving back home.  She then received an email from some guy in the Meetup group she joined the day before.  He was asking her if she wanted to talk.  She pecked out a few sentences and said okay.  She clicked send.  That was September 12, 2013. 

Joel and Rebekah’s New Life

On August 23, 2014 Joel and Rebekah got married.  They moved into a little one-bedroom apartment in Santa Ana, California.  It was a new start for both and they abounded with excitement and plans.  Joel and Rebekah had both been through painful trials and deep brokenness, but about three years out from the trials, they were different people.  They were broken and rebuilt by God.  The two were alike in many ways and madly in love. 

Joel and Rebekah’s Tragedy

Seven months into their marriage, Joel got a call from his dad.  His dad shared that he had been diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer.  A month after that, Rebekah was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer.  Stage 4 cancer is considered incurable.  After many tests and scans, they learned that not only had Rebekah’s cancer returned, but it had metastasized (spread) to her liver, lungs, kidneys, bones, and brain.  They found at least 9 tumors in her brain.  One radiation oncologist that reviewed her scans said that even with treatment, she probably had 4-6 months to live.  She was 27 years old. 

The bottom of the world fell out.  The future, that just a week prior seemed so bright, went black.  They were again lost.  But they clung to each other and clung to their faith.  Rebekah vowed to fight.  It was not her time.  The couple was broken, lost, and terrified, but they did not give up. 

They got Rebekah admitted to the City of Hope cancer treatment center in Duarte, California.  She got a new team of amazing oncologists.  Since her brain was the primary threat, they immediately hit her with 14-rounds of full brain radiation.  After that, she started an aggressive regimen of chemotherapy.  That first chemo failed, and the cancer spread.  They went to plan B and tried a new chemo.  It began to work.   After several months, the cancer in her brain and body was dying and shrinking.  After a year of treatment, the City of Hope pushed her cancer into near remission.  This is not a cure, but it’s lightyears away from the 4-6 months to live she was given by oncologists at a different treatment center. 

It has been nearly three years since that initial diagnosis.  The couple has gone through much since then.  Rebekah has had multiple rounds of radiation on her brain and hip, multiple chemo-cocktails, and multiple surgeries.  They have faced battles with health insurance companies, dozens of medications, and many trips to the emergency room.  There is pain, sickness, nausea, and physical changes like the permanent loss of hair and health.  But that is not the greatest battle.  The greatest battle of cancer is in the heart.  It’s the fear, the anger, the loneliness, the confusion, and emotional heaviness of fighting day-in and day-out.  That is the real battle of cancer. 

Joel’s dad gave up that fight and let the cancer take over.  He passed away one year later after his diagnosis.  Joel and his sister, along with Rebekah and his sister’s husband, sat around their dad right up to his last breath.  He was an amazing man and dad. 

The couple has learned A LOT since that initial diagnosis.  They have fought and clawed their way back out of the darkness, out of the valley, and come to a place of sweetness and hope.  Their love is stronger and deeper than ever.  They learned to find the hidden blessings that cancer can bring, blessings that most people miss when everything in life runs smoothly. 

Rebekah’s HOPE

Rebekah’s faith, character, and outlook are so extra-ordinary, that Joel wanted to capture this to show the world and give other people encouragement and hope.  He decided to have a movie made to capture her story and faith as a testimony that, no matter what, there is always hope.  They called the movie A Brave Hope: A True Story of Triumph Over Tragedy. 

Shortly after filming for the movie was underway, Joel decided to write a book that went into detail about what it’s like to be a spouse and a caretaker at the same time.  It digs deep into Joel’s life story and the struggles, challenges, and joys of loving a spouse with cancer.   The book is titled In Your Corner: A Spouses’ Journey of Life, Love, Cancer, and Hope.

Over the years, many people had encouraged Rebekah to write a book about her story.  Never wanting to be the center of attention, Rebekah always shied away from the idea.   But people continued to ask for her to write her story and at the encouragement of Joel, she started writing a book about her life, journey, and faith.  It is titled Clothed with Strength: Finding Hope and Meaning in Light of Loss and Tragedy.  The idea from the title comes from Proverbs 31, which speaks of the excellent wife.

In November 2017, the couple formed Rebekah’s Hope as a legal business to house and promote these projects.  Joel also wrote a second book, HELP! Someone I Love Has Cancer.  The t-shirts are all designed by Joel.  The couple has other projects in the works as well!  

Rebekah’s Hope was formed to

Help those fighting cancer, illness, and despair, find hope and healing through our writings, videos, and e-courses. 

Rebekah’s hope is not mere wishful thinking, a positive attitude, or naïve optimism. Her hope is real and absolute hope that cannot be shattered or stolen.